found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
