My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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