AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
