they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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