then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
