i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
