Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
