i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
