i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
