Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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