Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
