what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize