Tell her she can't have a vagina
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
