that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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