her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
