I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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