come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
