it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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