is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
