you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
