Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
