And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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