I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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