i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
