Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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