Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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