You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
