my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
