It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
