I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
