so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
