my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
