Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
