Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
