I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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