I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
