How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
