doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
