omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
