im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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