DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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