FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
