Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We are two peas in an std pod
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
