so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
