420 ftw
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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