i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
