After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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