We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
