Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My cat gives me a boner
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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