What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
